In the makeup chair again being handled by so many people. Sometimes, in the right mood, it all seems like a fun game of dress up. But Ivana isn't here. She's dead. She'll never be here. It seems impossible. Once or twice, might be able to pretend she's just not in this show. Pretend she's off on another runway somewhere and we'll meet up after for drinks and we'll laugh like always at how stupid and frustrating it gets. But....Instead, the rain is falling outside and a chill is in the air and there is nowhere that can be warm enough because Ivana is gone and she isn't coming back.