ANASTASIA'S JOURNAL

The haunted look began even before she died. Ivana had one foot in the beyond for a long time.


Looking back, it seems obvious, but at the time, she just seemed a little tired and sad. It was nothing different from what we saw all the time. All our friends were moody. Who wouldn't be? If you don't eat enough and you work to exhaustion all the time and run from go see to go see not sure where your next work is coming from, you get stressed. It's not that hard to figure out. Gunther told me I shouldn't be so upset because I didn't see what was going on. He said I'm not a doctor. I know he's right. But it doesn't change anything. And I should have known.



Look at those pictures. I've never seen anybody so naked. So haunted. It's there in her eyes for anybody to see. That horrible look. It has to be death. What else could look like that?

SOPHISTICATION

It seems like people expect a lot of sophistication out of girls who are barely out of high school. From working in a slaughterhouse to going to school in Paris and landing on a runway six weeks later is a pretty huge jump. Maybe they should try to give us some idea of what we should read or watch. Maybe they should make some kind of school for us where we could go and spend a little time each day learning more than just how to walk or pose. Maybe your body finds new poses from new words and ideas. Maybe things are connected in ways that we could understand if somebody tried to help us understand. Maybe that's asking too much. I don't really know.

At least Marcelle understands. She's read a lot of books and a lot of poems and she likes to think. Gunther too. He loves to think. Hanging out with him is probably like going to college. I guess sophistication takes time.

IVANA IS GONE

In the makeup chair again being handled by so many people. Sometimes, in the right mood, it all seems like a fun game of dress up. But Ivana isn't here. She's dead. She'll never be here. It seems impossible. Once or twice, might be able to pretend she's just not in this show. Pretend she's off on another runway somewhere and we'll meet up after for drinks and we'll laugh like always at how stupid and frustrating it gets. But....Instead, the rain is falling outside and a chill is in the air and there is nowhere that can be warm enough because Ivana is gone and she isn't coming back.

AM I STILL BEAUTIFUL?

FRANCESCA

So I came in and caught the guy masturbating to pictures of me! I mean, he had the real thing right there in his bed and he hardly ever touched me but there he was getting off looking at pictures.

ANASTASIA

Sick shit.

FRANCESCA

Definitely. So, I -- A guy comes over and tries to talk to Francesca and Anastasia.

JAY

Are you guys models?

ANASTASIA

Why do you ask?

JAY

Because you are fucking beautiful.

Anastasia smiles and then she slaps him.

ANASTASIA

Am I still beautiful?

Jay is taken aback but he tries to laugh it off. Maybe this is some kind of test. Still trying to be cool.

JAY

You like it rough, huh? I'm up for that.

FRANCESCA

Oh. You want to play? Great. Do you know how to play?

Francesca smiles and throws her drink in his face. Jay becomes very angry.

JAY

You fucking bitches. You're crazy. What's your major malfunction?

He is angry but he sees that many people are watching and he just decides to walk away.

JAY

Crazy cunts. He walks away.

ANASTASIA

Oh. Too bad. He doesn't think we're beautiful anymore.

Anastasia gives Francesca high five while Marcelle and Nicoleta just stare at them.

MARCELLE

What's wrong with you two? Are you out of your fucking minds?

Anastasia just laughs insanely and downs her drink. Marcelle and Nicoleta look worried as Francesca and Anastasia laugh and drink together.

DESCRIPTION OF ROSES OF SHADOW

Roses of Shadow is the story of a young model (Anastasia) whose best friend (Ivana) dies during a runway show from complications due to anorexia. The story follows Anastasia and her closest friends as they deal with Ivana’s death in various ways. Anastasia is forced to face her own demons (including her eating disorder and cocaine habit) and also her relationship with her family.

Roses of Shadow is a serious drama which explores many issues concerning appearances and beauty and with how people deal with traumatic experiences from their past and their present.

BEAUTY AND PAIN

As she sits glumly, Anastasia begins to notice Marcelle  preparing for the show. Marcelle takes her time and feels each article of clothing before she puts it on. She is clearly enjoying the textures and smells and whatever she is looking at. Marcelle finally notices that Anastasia is watching and she smiles.

MARCELLE

What?

ANASTASIA

You're amazing. You're so into every detail and it looks like you notice everything. The smell, the feel...

MARCELLE

I love beautiful things. Ever since I was a child.

Anastasia smiles at her.

My mother loved beautiful things too. Gloves, fur coats, perfume. She used to let me touch the fur when she was wearing it. I think of her every time I wear something she would love.

ANASTASIA

Isn't that painful?

MARCELLE

I guess so...but I think beauty and pain are never far apart.

IVANA'S FUNERAL

INT. FUNERAL HOME
Slowly, amidst the ocean of flowers and photographs and elaborate tributes, the body of Ivana is revealed in her casket. Her mother DASHA and two younger sisters POLINA (14) and OKSANA (10) stand over the coffin weeping together. Polina puts a picture of her with Ivana in the coffin and  Oksana puts a small teddy bear in with her sister. The family then moves away to allow others to pay their respects.

Marcelle, Fawn, Nicoleta, Francesca and Anastasia go to the coffin. Each of the closest friends takes a turn looking at Ivana and struggles to make reality of the corpse that confronts them. Anastasia remains at the casket as her other friends move away.

SURVIVOR GUILT

When I came to Auschwitz, my sister was with me. She was only 14 and it was a miracle she got past Mengele. From the moment we got into the camp, she couldn't eat. Once a week in Auschwitz you received some marmalade made from sugar beets in your hand. She couldn't even eat that. The only thing she ate was the slice of bread she got and I used to get angry with her. Once I yelled at her, "If you don't eat, you will die!"

Needless to say, I know in my head I'm not the cause of her death... but in my gut I've believed that I caused her death.

I felt guilty for many years that maybe I should have run back and tried to get her with me or stay with her. Maybe I didn't do enough to stay together. Maybe I was too selfish about saving myself. You can excuse yourself and say if I had run back my fate would have been the same as hers. There is no logic to my feelings.. but those words ring in my ears, "If you're not going to eat, you're going to die."

LET THEM EAT CAKE

INT. IVANA'S APARTMENT - SAME NIGHT

Ivana sits down at a table when they get in the apartment. She looks pale and she is breathing a little heavily.

ANASTASIA
What did you eat today?

IVANA
Oh, some apples and a...I don't remember.

Ivana looks at Anastasia intensely for a moment.

ANASTASIA
What?


IVANA
I want you to do something for me.

ANASTASIA
What?

IVANA
Could you call my mother if anything happens?

ANASTASIA
Anything like what?

IVANA
I don't know. Like today. What if I went to the hospital?

ANASTASIA
Oh. Yeah. Of course.

IVANA
MAma is always worrying if I'm going to church.

ANASTASIA
Wow.

IVANA
I know...I haven't gone in months, but it's very important to her.

ANASTASIA
Why are you talking about church?

Ivana changes the subject.

IVANA
I'm supposed to wear the wedding dress tomorrow.

ANASTASIA
I know. I heard. Congratulations.

IVANA
Thanks. Yukiko always liked me.

They sit quietly for a few seconds.

IVANA
Do you think you'll ever get married?

ANASTASIA
I don't know. How about you?

IVANA
I've been thinking about it a lot lately.

ANASTASIA
Now that I remember, didn't you say you were against marriage before?

IVANA
Oh maybe. I just - I don't know.

ANASTASIA
It's a good excuse to eat cake.

They laugh.

IVANA
Oh my God. Cake. What a wonderful thought. I love cake.

ANASTASIA
I know. So that's why we need to have an excuse to eat it.

IVANA
That's true. Promise me you'll eat cake with me if I get married.

ANASTASIA
Definitely.